In the Beginning

Why I started writing

I never planed to become a writer. As a kid growing up I was a huge comic book fan. I dreamed of waking one morning and finding out I had super powers. That never happened (obviously) and I settled into a normal kid routine. As I got older I matured and put away childish things. But not everything.

As a young adult with a good paying job, and not too many responsibilities, I could dedicate a good portion of my money to my first love. Comic books. I was a regular at my local comic shop for years. I’d walk in every Friday evening and my comics would be ready for me. I’d walk around the shop and look at all the new titles that came in that week. I was always looking for something new and exciting. But unfortunately the further away from childhood we get the more money it takes so I had to slow down and eventually stop buying them altogether.

While I was in my comics heyday I had an idea for a comic book that would spawn others. I shared my thoughts with a friend of mine that worked at the store. After I was done he told me that it sounded like a great idea. I continued to flesh it out in my head over the next few months and even wrote a small synopsis. That’s as far as I got with it.

Fast forward almost twenty years. I’m married. I have a daughter. I have a job that’s not too bad. And I was developing a crippling case of anxiety and depression. It was so bad that at it’s height I almost committed suicide. Thankfully I pulled myself out of that but my depression was still quite severe. I researched everything I could do to help me get out of my situation. I looked at changing my diet, trying oils and exercising. Nothing worked.

In that time I saw there was going to be a small comic book convention near me. I needed a quick escape from my problems and that sounded like the thing to do. I took my family and we milled around the con, it was held in a small community building, and I talked to some of the artist and writers there. One in particular I struck up a very meaningful conversation with it would change the course of my life.

His name is Rusty Gilligan. I told him about my idea and he said instead of making a comic book out of it, try making it into a pulp magazine. Every few months put out a few chapters with some simple black and white drawings. I went home with a new outlook on my story but I was still a few months from actually Taking shape. Shortly after I avoided oblivion, I found an article that said writing was a good way to combat depression. With nothing else to lose I sat down at my kitchen table with my lap top and started typing my story.

I flip flopped from making it a pulp to a novel and back again. I even put together a few mock ups of my first chapter as a kind of pulp to see what it would look like. While It didn’t look too bad I was still going to need an artist to help with the illustrations and I didn’t have the money to hire an artist. I put out posts on social media to see if any would be interested in helping me get things off the ground cheaply but I got no serious takers.

I kept at writing. I was finding that it was a good outlet for my anxiety and depression. Even if there were no pictures I could still tel my story. My wife finally convinced me to go the book route. It’s the best decision I’ve made. Writing has been very cathartic and I’m happy to announce that, as of this post, I haven’t had an anxiety attack or bad thought in almost a year.

I don’t write as often as I’d like to. With a full time job and a daughter to take care of I write in the evening after I put my daughter to bed and until my wife comes home from work. About 2 hours. Weekends are the time I try to be most productive but I still find myself writing at night.

I love my book. I’m not delusional enough to think of myself as the next big thing. I want to finish my story so I can share it with other people and introduce them to the characters that have been living in my head for years.    

2 thoughts on “In the Beginning

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  1. Congratulations on coming out of that depression. It can be the worst thing, especially this time of year. Sometimes writing is the only thing that can bring me out of a bad place. Exercise helps too but writing always makes me feel better. You’re on a great path and I’m very happy that you found your way again. Write your heart out and enjoy yourself. That’s what it’s all about!

    Liked by 1 person

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